You really f#@%ed the dog on that one

I have a problem remembering things accurately. Song lyrics, movie quotes, children’s rhymes, my name. You name it, I’ve fucked it up. It drives my husband b-a-n-a-n-a-s. But as Rick the Hormone Monster would say, “What you gonna do?”

Example: I was convinced that the phrase was “Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.” And I was always like, first off, what’s a gift horse and second, why in the fuck would someone lick a horse in their mouth?? I learned that it was not, in fact, “lick” when I was in my 20s. So, that’s a thing.

My favorite is a phrase that no one has ever heard apparently but that didn’t stop me from remembering it correctly. The correct phrase is “Get off my case, toilet face.” But my stupid brain stored it as, “Get outta my face, toilet case.” Granted, I had no idea what a toilet case could possibly be but it’s clearly the better option and I marched boldly ahead saying it. You should, too.

(Obviously the title of this post is not remembering something incorrectly, I just really prefer that wording.)

Welp, see ya around.

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