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The Onion rules my rising sun

March 10, 2004

If he can’t have his monkeys , then can I? (Update: yes, I feel incredibly bad for him and no, the link is not missing, or wait, yes it is) Best quote from the article: “The monkeys, weighing 1 to 5 pounds and ranging in age from 3 to 9 years old, never caused a big ruckus, except for switching the lights on and off and harassing the cats by pulling their tails.”

I knew I left something at that party this weekend. I like how they say they’re going to throw it all away later, because that is so going to happen. (not there. but maybe it was FIREWORKS??????????)

From The Onion this week:
“Every Song On Radio Reminds Man Of Red Sox Loss
BOSTON—Every song on the radio reminds Red Sox fan Patrick O’Malley of the team’s loss to the New York Yankees in Game 7 of the 2003 American League Championship Series. “‘One Call Away’ on 94.5 reminded me of how [manager] Grady Little’s call kept Pedro Martinez on the mound in the eighth,” O’Malley said Monday. “So I flipped over to 97.9, but then Van Halen’s ‘Poundcake’ reminded me of how Yankee batter Aaron Boone pounded Tim Wakefield’s knuckleball over the fence.” O’Malley then switched to AM radio, where a farm report reminded him of that corndog he threw on the ground when Boone crossed home plate in the game’s 11th inning.”

And always a favorite onion headline of mine “Non-crime fighting dog takes bite out of couch”
ok-bye

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